i'll resemble more pilot light than a man now
by Twisted Wonderland
Summary: A Doctor/Rose drabble series based around the poem "A Finger, Two Dots, Then Me" by Derrick Brown.
1. til I become a child again

**So I have this poem that I absolutely love. It's called "A Finger, Two Dots, and Me", and listening to it before you read this would probably help. I'm going to post these in separate little drabbles, because there are different scenes that came to mind. If you like it, be sure to tell me. c: I have two written already, but I'm trying to get motivation to keep writing them. **

**Hope you enjoy!**

They are lying with their backs pressed against the grass. It's soft, softer than the grass on Rose's earth, and he watches as she runs her fingers over it. This position they're lying in has become one that is instinctively familiar, his coat flared beneath them and the blond tucked in at his side. She seems bemused and delighted, and he finds joy in watching her expressions. Human emotion has always been more interesting to him than any plant, even if it's the purple grasses of Marlox.

He is the one who breaks the silence, which surprises neither of them. "It's interesting." He remarks idly, and she turns her brown gaze on him instead. Her face is quizzical now.

"What is?"

The Doctor pauses, more for effect but a bit so he can decide how to phrase his thoughts. His lips purse as he muses, and his head tilts just a tad when he talks. "Well, it's a bit like being a kid again, really."

Now he has her full attention, because he never talks about his early life on Gallifrey. She rolls on her side, propping her head up under her hand, and she gazes at him with intensity, obviously keen on listening. "How so?"

He looks surprised at her enthusiasm, and there is a ghost in the corners of his eyes that threatens to push the thoughts into hiding once more. He conquers them, though, seeming to have some sort of internal battle before talking again. "Well, obviously I was a kid once too. But putting it into human terms, my first incarnations were a bit like children too. It's weird, because when I was a kid, an actual kid." He grins at her. "Everything was a bit magical. But as I got older, I got more petulant. That's a good word, petulant." The Doctor looked back over at her, musing. "But it feels like I'm back to being a kid sometimes. Much older, of course. Wiser. More brilliant. But a kid none-the-less."

Rose is grinning back at him now. "So does that mean you'll just keep going until you're a baby?" She teases, and his eyebrows raise at her.

"I highly doubt that. I would be an incredibly intelligent baby."

Now she's laughing, and he thinks that there has never been a more beautiful sound. He moves a bit closer, showing his affection in the delicate, testing way he always has.

"Don't worry." Rose whispers to him. "I'll be here to take care of you if you turn into a baby." Then she turns so she's on her back again, and she wiggles into him, close enough that they're touching, and she takes his hand, holding it tight.

"Don't worry," He says, so softly that she might not've heard him at all, "I'll be here until there isn't even an 'until'."


	2. til the darkness goes blue

**Part two. **

**Just… sort of disregard that I already wrote something about Rose and her nightmares. IRRELEVANT.**

"Doctor!"

Her voice breaks through the walls of the TARDIS, and he's up and standing in seconds, doing his best to balance. They're midflight, but thankfully to nowhere dangerous (as far as he knows), so he sets the TARDIS to pilot herself and hurries to find his Rose.

She is dreaming. She's still asleep, and he looks at her from the door with a mild sense of incredulity. Even unconscious, she has called for him. It's obvious that she's been sleeping fitfully; her legs are tangled helplessly in her blankets and she's tucked her hands close to her chest. The picture is endearing. Nightmares he can handle.

There is a chair by her bed; he moved it there ages ago, back when he wore a leather jacket like a suit of armor. The Doctor settles in beside her and reaches out to gently brush her cheek in order to say "I'm here". She doesn't awaken, but she does visibly relax. He smiles at the action. Rose rarely censors herself while she's conscious, but she is never this vulnerable. Rose "Bad Wolf" Tyler only knows vulnerability in her sleep.

This scene is a painful reminder of how very human she is. A reminder like that is always painful, because it is a reminder that forever is impossible. While she has stated it as her intention multiple times, there would always be a voice deep inside both of them that whispered how it could never happen. Perhaps not until he died, and who knew what happened then?

He checks to assure that she is asleep, and then begins to talk. His words are soft and honest, but they are tinged with the faintest hints of amusement, because this is Rose Tyler and any moment with her is worth smiling about. "Tell you what. Do this for me. When you die. You humans have the most brilliant souls, the most… _burning_ hearts. You're all born from star matter, little bits of particles of stars. So go back to those stars, Rose." He pauses to tuck the tiniest piece of hair out of her face, in a movement that he is grateful she isn't awake to see. It is too tender for the self-imposed barrier they've established. "Dart between quasars. Visit those parts of the universe that are so dark, they're blue. I'd show you all of it if I could, you know. And maybe I will. Time and space are funny things." The Doctor smiles. "But don't you wait in a box under the ground. Not you, Rose Tyler. Don't you dare. Because up here, you'll burn golden. You'll burn golden and yellow, like time itself. People will think you're a shooting star, you'll burn so bright."

Rose stirred minutely.

He continued. "I will say, though, 'shooting star' is a bit of a funny thing to call it. They're usually meteors. Or comets. Or just random masses of particles. But they aren't _stars_." His voice is filled with exasperation, and his scathing tone wakes her at last.

She spares him a few fluttering, confused blinks, before her face breaks into an easy smile. "Hello, Doctor."

The Doctor beams in return. "Hello, Rose!" He greets enthusiastically, only to have the smile abruptly vanish when he realizes that his hand is still cupping her face. The Gallifreyan clears his throat to cover the mishap and withdraws his hands, leaning back in his chair. "Sleep well?"

Contemplation crosses her face. "Not… really. Not at first."

He mimes concern; he already knows this. "Why not?"

"We were trapped." She says, launching into the story of her dream. "On the planet of the Daleks. There were loads of them, everywhere…" Rose bites her lip, looking fretful. He can imagine why. They have been in a similar situation too many times to be comfortable. Being trapped never is.

"Did I come up with a brilliant plan to rescue us?" The Doctor asks, his tone warm and perhaps a bit smug.

"No." She replies, and this seems a bit curious to her as well, although the little grin hasn't left her face. "I made a wish. On a shooting star. Isn't that silly?"

The Doctor just stares at her, thinking back to the picture he had painted with a Bad Wolf colored star, and believes that perhaps it isn't silly at all.


End file.
